Vacation!

In about 7 hours I'll set out to catch the bus down to Georgia. I normally fly, but money is a bit tighter this time, so the bus it is. I haven't been on a Greyhound since right after high school. I'll take the city bus to the Greyhound station, so I have to catch Lextran at Barnes & Noble at 5:40 a.m. That means I have to be up and going around 5 a.m. since I'm always running behind. I'll arrive at the Greyhound station at around 7:30 a.m. and my bus departs at 8:05 a.m. I'm normally not even out of bed before noon, so this is too much too early for me.

I'll arrive in Cordele, GA to meet Eric at 10:00 p.m. We'll spend the night at his families lake house tomorrow night, then head down to Santa Rosa Beach for ten days of sun on the Gulf! Plus he's bringing his beagle, Buddy! Buddy is adorable. Almost as cute as Eric himself. I love it down there with him. No roommates. Privacy. Being lazy. Late night swimming. Cooking together. Having fun. Just us, and this time, a canine companion.

I'm so excited, I wont be able to sleep tonight. I'll make up for that on the long bus ride down. I'm just ready to get on the road!

Oh Insomnia, How I Loathe You

I have one of the worst cases of insomnia that I've seen. It's mostly when I have to sleep alone. I find myself sitting up until six or seven in the morning a lot of mornings when I don't take a sleeping aid. It seems as if it's gotten worse lately. I blame it on all of the stress I've been under lately.

Fortunately, I'll be on the beach on Monday with my baby. This vacation couldn't come at a better time. We haven't had a getaway in a while, so it'll be fun. I can't wait for white sand, sun, and privacy!

The NCAA Tournament starts tomorrow as well. I can't wait to pull for my Wildcats!

Looking Forward

In the coming months I'll be packing up my things and moving to Atlanta with Eric. We will finally be closing the distance between us, after over a year together. I'm absolutely excited for the future. I'm so tired of missing him. It's draining and it hurts. Sometimes I'm bitter or angry that things are the way that they are. Then I think about the next few months, and things begin to look up.

We'll be living together. Falling asleep next to each other every night. Waking up beside one another each morning. Having fun (when his law school and my activities don't interfere), being us. We're so perfect together and I can't wait until we can be perfect together full time!

I Miss Him

Sitting here tonight has made me do a lot of thinking. I miss Eric so much. Everytime he leaves, it's as if he takes a part of me with him. I'm simply not the same when we're not together. Even if it's only for a week this time, it's so hard to not be with him. I look forward to the day when we don't have to be apart like this anymore.

We'll be down at the beach next week. We'll spend ten amazing days down there, then I'll come back without him, and it'll be absolutely awful living without him for a month or so until the next time that he comes up to visit. During those times, hours feel like days. All I can think of is how I wish I was with him, and how being five hundred miles from each other is just awful.

I try to remain positive. It's so hard though, when you want to be with someone so badly. When you love someone with every fiber of your being, and you have to spend a month or more apart, it just hurts. Having your relationship reduced to IM'ing and late night web cam sessions just makes it seem unfair.

Don't get me wrong, our relationship is the most wonderful relationship I've ever been in. He completes me. If I had to go back and do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat for him. I could never do it for anyone else though. It's just too painful.

How Do You Know When You're Head Over Heels In Love?

Maybe it's how I don't feel complete without him, or how I feel lost on the rare occasions that I can't see him at night before bed. Maybe it's the way he still gives me butterflies after a whole year. Maybe it's the way that I feel when I'm in his arms... safe, happy, warm. It could be the way I long for him the minute we say goodbye, or the way that making love with us really and truly is making love.
I've never felt so in love, or so loved, in my life up until now. I've never wanted or needed to be so close to anyone. Sometimes I think about Eric and just know that we are meant for each other. From the beginning, it was as if it was fate that brought us together. We spend hours and days on end together, and never tire of each others company. I feel as if I'm truly the luckiest girl in the world to have such an amazing man in my life.

I honestly can't put into words how I really feel about him. There are no words that I can type out that fully explain my love for him. I know I don't show him often enough how I truly feel, but I hope he knows that he means the world to me, and that I would do anything in this world for him.